SMALLEST DETAILS
its the smallest details I find
quickly pull me back to another time
filling my eyes with unavoidable tears
bringing me closer to the familiar fears
of my inability to stop pain year after year.
see it in the man crossing the street,
the one who can hardly bare weight on his own two feet
or in her tick and uncontrolable blink
a girls inability to say what she thinks
the slow moving, but even slower to speak.
the malnourished and terribly weak
certain my hearts threshold has reached its peak
when I burst into tears over the kitchen sink.
its those characteristics that bring me back
recentering my focus, changin my track
humbling my actions and how quickly I react.
reminding me of all that I have, not what I lack.
its the smallest details I find
quickly pull me back to another time
that render a smile on my face
bringing me closer to that familiar place
of spicey horchata, the guatemalan race
I fiercely hunger for that "I need you" feeling,
sunrise devotional, pleading, and kneeling...
and constantly praying for a healing.
emphatic questions still exhaust my brain
unable to see a purpose for their pain
so worked up, its hard to refrain...
I wrote this a few years back after my return from Guatemala where I served a couple summer mission trips. During my stay I worked in a tiny school called Cabrillo del Sol and was won over by the countless toothless smiles and sticky hands of the students that went there. I also worked in a hospital for the mentally and physically disabled called Herman Pedro. That was more difficult to endure than I had anticipated, but that which is easily endured is scarcely appreciated.
Even though I was there to serve the people and help with their needs, I gained so much and walked away with more life than I have the years to show for.
Lately I have not been able to stop thinking about those trips to Guatemala. Not that that is a bad thing, I love reliving the joys of service in a daydream... at heart it TRULY, DEEPLY compels me to take off and go for the entire summer and get lost in the rich textiles of Guatemalan service.
Now more than ever with a 6.4 earthquake today as just an aftershock of a bigger quake last wednesday doing tremendous damage and taking lives,
I find it extremely hard to sit still.
However with hurricane Sandy roaring through leaving fellow Americans in a state of despair, I know there is just as much need for service within my own country. And trust me I felt the same when I saw the repercussions of Sandy on the news for the first time. Nonetheless, Guatemala is very near and dear to my heart.
Until I can hop on a plane and go somewhere,
anywhere...
I will pray, send supplies,
and wait for good news
