Papa, the things I would tell you...

Today I miss my papa

my gran-dad

the old fishermen

the knowledgable litigator

hardest working man

most charitable

short on 'i love yous'

long on silence

sweet as can be

Papa

He passed away this year, this July a week before my 22nd birthday. 

I was fortunate enough to see him before he made his grand exit. 

Pancreatic cancer took him very quickly. 

He was literally gone within a few weeks after we found out he even had it! 

His last few days were not enjoyable, to say the least, so it was much better that it took him quickly. Nothing aches more than to think of him in sever pain for an unreasonable amount of time. 

I have to admit I wasn't as sad as I thought I would be when I got to him. Instead I was exceedingly happy for him, I knew what was in store for him and was barely able to shed a tear. 

Some of my family might even say I was too happy. That is okay.  

The truth is I was so excited for him to meet our heavenly father (again) and be reunited with his own mom and dad. He lost his father at a very, very young age. They must have a lot of catching up to do :)

I am so thankful for the truths I know from this gospel. 

I do not believe faith in heaven is something here on this earth just to serve us as a 'comfort' in times of need.  

Even though this is one of those obvious times...

Some of Papas last words regarding me were to 'make sure I finish school, and get my degree!!!' 

I can just imagine him thinking that now after all this time changing my major multiple times and plans I would immerse myself in to married life get pregnant and leave my education in the dust...

Quite contrary Papa, you know me so much better than that.

This month I started my Bachelors program and I wish so badly I could call you on the phone and tell you the great news! 

I wish I could hear you say "congratulations Michelle, I'm so proud, that is great to hear."

Well, when it is my time (many moons from now) and I am on my way up there to meet my maker, 

you better be there. I will be expecting a proud smile and a big ole' hug.

I love you so very much Papa

hope you are enjoying a million more guilt free, chocolate sundays in heaven :)